Resisting The Facebook Menace
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It will seem a bit silly for a blogger to complain about a social networking site (a blog being in some ways merely a more verbose and self-important form of a social networking page), especially when I have been told that there is a Facebook group that is actually inspired by my blogging, but Alan Jacobs and Rod Dreher speak for many of us when they refuse to succumb (or succumb again) to the fashion. Like Rod, I already spend more time online than I probably should, and like Alan I find absolutely nothing appealing about Facebook (or any of the other social networking sites, for that matter). Of course, I once railed against the release of the iPhone, so you will conclude that I am simply uninterested in the latest uses of technology, but that’s just the point. For many people, the iPhone is very useful, but I don’t see any reason why I should have one. For goodness’ sakes, I resisted getting a cell phone until 2003, and only accepted using one of those because I make a few long, cross-country driving trips a year and I have fairly long commutes to and from my church. So when Farhad Manjoo tells me that Facebook is becoming just as common as cell phones, I am not impressed. We could all probably do with fewer cell phones, and I bet we could stand to do without these networking sites, too.
Facebook may be an excellent means of networking online, or maybe it’s just so-so, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t even like networking with people offline, so why would I want to sign up to do something I don’t enjoy? There’s only so much time in the day. This isn’t to make a statement against modernity or take a stand against ridiculous fads for its own sake (despite the title of the post, I don’t think Facebook is a menace–at least menaces are worth taking seriously), but simply to say that I see no value in the thing, which is why I persist in not joining despite the many entreaties of several of my long-time friends.
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11 Responses to “Resisting The Facebook Menace”
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Your instincts are good. I joined because I saw the name of an ex-girlfriend to whom I hadn’t spoken in years. We corresponded briefly and that, I thought, was that. Clearly I did not understand the true nature of the Facebook “experience”. Since that time I have been deluged by “friend” requests from a hoard of people who I barely remember and some of whom I actively dislike. I presume that all of us are having the same experience. But I hate cell phones as well, so what do I know?
I similarly resist such things. But sometimes I wonder. You say: “I see no value in the thing, which is why I persist in not joining despite the many entreaties of several of my long-time friends.”
I know that this runs counter to everything my dear mother taught me, but doesn’t the value rest in the fact that “everyone else is doing it”?
I think back to Andrew Nelson Lytle in “I’ll Take My Stand,” lamenting that people had stopped going to barn dances and ice-cream socials. Which I suppose is lamentable enough. But was there something inherent in these arrangements that captured their value? Dancing in a barn is somehow better than dancing in a different kind of structure? Socials dedicated to ice cream are superior to socials dedicated to licorice? Seems to me that the real value rested in the fact that… people went to such things, met there, and interacted.
I think there is a lot to be said for the people who held out longest, who kept up the traditions. But somebody was the last guy at the barn dance, and he was no longer doing what he was supposed to be doing at barn dances. So maybe what replaced barn dances was silly and arbitrary. But so were barn dances. Or, at least they were at one time or another. Then became so again.
I agree that people are too quick to disregard traditions, and too eager to invent new ones for no good reason. But in the end, the trappings of the traditions matter less than the social interaction that they allow. So perhaps if several of your long-time friends are inviting you to join something, the fact that the thing itself is silly is less important than the fact that they are in fact offering the entreaties.
If I remember correctly, wasn’t there an article in the American Conservative sometime back (it might have had something to do with GQ) that essentially said around the age of 25 one might consider deleting his FaceBook account in that there’s something comforting about the fact that not just any random person in the world can contact you?
I can’t remember when it appeared, but that sounds like something Michael would have written.
I think it comes down to the myth that mutual agreement means you’ll really like someone or that you should be friends, or something like that. I have been following you for something like four years now. And while I enjoy reading you, I’m not overwhelmed by a compulsion to drive down to Chicago and visit you. Don’t get me wrong, a pint wouldn’t offend me, but then again I can’t think of hardly anyone with whom I would be offended having a pint. The same can be said with most everyone I’ve followed or who have followed my writing. The idea of being social without interacting day-to-day or week-to-week facially seems to be the creation of a culture with no real sense of being social.
Facebook is an absolutely fantastic way to re-connect with people you’ve lost. I found, finally, a whole bunch of old fraternity buddies – two of whom I previously thought might have literally dropped off the face of the earth. That’s the value of it.
But the most uncomfortable aspect of it for me is this: I get all sorts of friend requests from people I sort of knew in high school. Fine, nice to be Facebook friends, whatever. But then last week one of those barely-remember-you folks lost her mother, and suddenly there was this clamor for all the Facebook friends to “do” something for the woman.
And I thought – well, I’ll send a note of condolence, fine; but I haven’t physically seen the woman in 23 years, it’s not like we were ever anything resembling “close” – we might have said hello in the hallways – but now I should do flowers or go to the funeral?
If that sounds cold it’s not meant to. Point is, Facebook tends to draw some “friends” closer than you’re really comfortable with.
Apparently it’s a good way to catch up with old friends from high school. Since I couldn’t stand 99% of the people I went to high school with I don’t bother with it.
Well, social networking sites are not all the same. LinkedIn serves business users quite well. Imeem is nice for music lovers. Biggest issue facing many Facebook users may be the likelihood potential employers will check out their pages!
True enough. Technically, I have a LinkedIn account, but I never use it and ignore all of the updates I receive from it. I’m sure LinkedIn provides a valuable service to someone. It just seems to have no value for me.
*raises hand* I not only spend far too much time on Facebook, but I belong to said group dedicated to you, Daniel.
I’ve also echoed the call to get you on to Facebook. However, we shall all, doubtless, respect — and perhaps, at least in my case, understand — your refusal.
Re: MZ’s post, I shouldn’t mind grabbing a pint, would you be around and interested, next time I’m in Chicago!
Wait until you’re an old fart. It’s how you’ll keep up with your kids.