Shoplift from The Gap!*
Digg 
Stumble Upon 
Newsvine 
Slashdot 
Mixx 
Diigo 
Delicious 
Reddit 
Facebook
MINT-AND-CORN COUNTRY, INDIANA — The new mantra at The Gap, it seems, is “Two, four, six, eight, ’tis the time to liberate. […] You eighty-six the rules, you do what just feels right.” This all from their multi-spiritual holiday commercial: “Go Christmas, go Hanukkah, go Kwanzaa, go Solstice!”
A member of the One True Faith, I prefer Christmas, but I certainly have much respect for Judaism, and thus am all about Hanukah (and once made a beer-and-wine-bottle menorah for a desperate Jewish roommate one year). I’m less inclined to utter a shout of glee for Kwanzaa and the Solstice, but I am more than happy to let those who celebrate these go about their thing.
The one thing that all four holidays share is the elevation of something greater — whether the birth of Christ, the rededication of the Temple, Black heritage, or the beginning of winter — over the mundanity of our consumerist, materialist, Hollywood-drivel-driven faux-culture of Black Fridays and shopping-trip widowers. The commercialization of Christmas (et al.) is nothing new, but this advertisement denigrates the “Holiday Season” more so than anything that I can remember, not merely — not even — urging us to buy things, but encouraging us to embrace holiday cheer by doing whatever feels good — consequences be damned, presumably.
Calling for a boycott of The Gap seems to me to be a pretty infantile, futile action, but we really ought to consider the gravity of the anti-”Holiday Season” message and the deeper antipathy that contemporary society harbors toward anything more sacred than the accumulation of wealth as an ends in and of itself and a means to joyless possession and meaningless consumption.
Long live Christ the King (on the Pauline liturgical calendar)!
*Neither I nor The American Conservative in any way condones or advocates anyone’s committing conversion at The Gap or elsewhere. However, it may be an interesting legal experiment to see if one can use a commercial’s telling you to “eighty-six the rules, [to] do what just feels right” to justify snatching a sweater.
Filed under: pop culture, religion
A fine post,
I chuckled at the disclaimer.
“Two, four, six, eight, ’tis the time to liberate. […] You eighty-six the rules, you do what just feels right.”
Yes, liberation through shopping. Don’t forget to sign up for a GAP credit card!
Frank Costanza eight-sixed the rules and gave us Festivus.
Oh, Jeremiah, you’re right: They do capitalize all of the letters in the name! How rude of me!
Steve, touché! But apparently that’s not rule-breaking-enough, because The GAP left it out. I am offended!
Thank you Gap! My pantheist boyfriend celebrates all holidays (because he considers all religions to have grains of truth) and he’s been waiting for someone to mention solstice for years! I might just join him this year, I’d much rather celebrate the day getting longer than receive presents. XD
As a level 26 Black Mage, I resent your mockery of Solstice. I’ll be shopping at the GAP this year, thank you very much.
Two relevant urban legends… supposedly back in the day, there was a guy shilling for Florida vacations who literally said, ‘come on down, be my guest’ and some people came on down and charged it to him and won the suit. Secondly, Sears used to literally say ‘we install what we sell’ until someone bought house paint and demanded the installation… winning the suit, and Sears had to paint the place for free. Do not know if these are true. But it is indeed legally interesting to see how the Gap would defend against people breaking the rules in their store, after they told them to in their ads…
Thanks for that, Greg!
Algalord, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to chuckle because you’re joking, or because you’re not. Either way, I seem not at any point to have mocked Solstice, and I wish you a very solemn/holy/joyful/*insert appropriate adjective* holy day.
[...] And Nathan Origer wants you to shoplift from The Gap! [...]